Life really is Beautiful

Without Permission- ahaha, I just had toooooo! I thought of an Old friend from back in the day last night when I thought about high jacking a bus stop poster- LMAO! Growing up was weird times. Anyway, thanks to FB, I added him. Now, I have an old FB that’s been abandoned for 2 years now. I’ve deleted the damn thing half a dozen times now, but somehow, it won’t go away lol.

But now I’m just getting off topic.. So, anyway we were catching up, and let me tell you how phenomenal it is to read a few sentences on FB and think, “HOLY SHIT DUDE!! ME TOO” and it isn’t like you haven’t kicked it in 5 or more years? Whoa, time flies after 21 huh? Well, here’s the quote, just the best damn thing I’ve heard in a while.

“Haha nice. As u can see I’m in a happy relationship as well. She rides just like me and has tattoos just like me. It’s like dating myself. If I was a white chick I would be her lol. R u still in the valley?”

Perfection! I love it! “It’s like I’m dating myself. If I was a white chick I would be her lol.”



“What’s wrong” 

Oh, let me tell you so you can wipe your ass with what’s bothering me. Not big, not clever. Ugh.


We all lose touch of who we are every now and then. I am currently faced with a lot of negative feelings I’ve harbored over the past months. Lately, I have to admit a lot of negativity and judgement has easily passed through me, so much more often that the energy has seemingly pushed those once dear too me away. In order to receive positive love you must be the first to plant the energy in order for it to blossom.

I’ve spent the afternoon multi tasking work with research on prayers and ways to let go of negative energy. This is how vital my faith has become to my well-being. I have simply become bitter and selfish over an event that impacted my life significantly last year. This event, has encouraged bitter feelings, and placed a negative void in my dealings with others.

The only real way of letting go is admitting the ugly and the futile that has weighed down my soul and true being.

I have a lot of love to share with the world, pockets full of good intentions but this past year I’ve made no efforts in sharing that love, and my intentions have been focus on my own happiness; this is not how I want to live my life. So I’m coming out of the dark, and I’m going to shed some light. The next time I look in the mirror I will forgive myself for being the source of negativity and selfishness.  I will forgive myself for torturing my soul with lies, and most importantly the souls of those around me.

I will go to temple, I will pray, and I will be mindful again of those around me. I will bring happiness back into my world. It’s my story, and I’m going to write it.

And soo I thought..

I wonder what it would be like if for one month I went to every single event I am invited too. I know I’m friends with some people from Elementary School, and Junior High School, on FB that I haven’t seen in YEARS, or hardly ever at all. One month, I’ll go to every event.. But not this year, next year. I need to figure out what month. “You gotta be smart- think ahead, think of the scenarios” – Josh McDaniel.

You feed the beast I have within me.

So cut it the fuck out, and I’ll play nice.

what are you going to do..

I’m just a chump and have explosive anger because anger is the only emotion I feel comfortable expressing. You can’t hurt me when I’m angry. The minute you tell someone whats really in your heart you’ll find them one day calling you dumb. Go figure.

I know I’m a free spirit and I don’t like to commit because I’m so open-minded and blah blah blah. But everyone has their “dealbreakers” and traits that make them happy. I refuse to acknowledge what goals I set, for fear of being limited. Somebody once said that “a goal is just a dream with a deadline.”  Unless I ground myself in a few of those dreams, I may drift from one bad to the next. Why waste time with the wrong when I could be in the right?



The scene takes place in a cozy office place as JeffJ standing at 6’4″, at 195 lbs practices flashes his “pretend badge” as we plot a mock interrogation on a man who says he fears his life, so KTLA decided to broadcast his exact location, unit number, and first name. AWESOME. Thanks KTLA, Ben said “poor guy he’ll be dead in two days”. The most astonishing part of the report was that they mention how private of a man the deceased was and how no one knew of his living boyfriend- but hey he’s dead now so let’s go ahead and air out all his dirty laundry. There’s little respect for the dead, and even for those who are closely related.


But here’s our game plan to getting to the bottom of this mysterious gruesome killing;

Jeffj (swinging out his wallet flipping it open just like in the movies but unfortunately his library card flies out so he blurts out a quick thought)

“THAT’S MY LIBRARY CARD! I carry it with me everywhere, helps with my investigation. That’s how I found you”

with quick minds like ours, we’ll be able to solve this case without any credentials.  CASE SOLVED.