Archive for November, 2011

Oh universe you never fail to amaze me

Aquarius Nov 26 2011
You made a choice a long time ago, Aquarius, and you are applying it to a situation that you are facing now. You may be wondering whether this choice is still relevant. Originally, you had very powerful feelings about what was right and what was wrong, but now you may not be so sure. What you felt back then was genuine. And although the time and the circumstances may be different, your heart is still the same. Move forward with the conviction you had back then, and you will do the best thing.

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You go on and I’ll go on

I’m lonely tonight, spent the last few hours unpacking. I think I’m going to be a lot happier in my new home once I have everything sorted out, and maybe I’ll start painting again. Maybe I’ll finally feel better. “Shoot me with your rubber bullets- your fingers on the trigger pull it. I know you want this suffering to end”. 

Maybe I need to grab dinner.. and maybe a hug.

 

Happy thanksgiving.

I certainly havent been resting as much as I should, and as the holidays roll by and all the special events come along my energy is so drained that I could hardly remember what I meant to say. My presence is enough to say I want to be there, but my tiresome mind may portray an entirely different emotion. It would be nice to have a companion to motivate me to press on but I am just always on the run and only a dope would be willing to keep up. Its getting late and the early morning is just around the corner, time to set my mind at ease. Tomorrow is just another day.

It is what it is

If I don’t get good night calls, or sweet dream text messages, why should I expect good mornings? I’m running insufficient on romance. ;( BOO..HOO?

Think I’d crumble, think i’d lay down and die- OH NO, NOT I.

Some people dont get it. If I am sweet toned and kind to you and its taken advantage of or not returned in a positive nature I will retreat, immediately. I dont like that kind of attitude with people, and most certainly do not deserve that kind of energy especially when I am only interested in exchanging positive energy. I dont like having to remind people what kind of things can turn me inside out from being a total sweetheart to a vicious, cold bitch. I react openly in hopes that if knowing me is even remotely important my change of heart will be taken in consideration. Otherwise, I would rather be left alone. And thats all I have to say about that.

keeping in touch

So ive downloaded the wordpress app to my phone I felt my soul yearning to press words and take advantage of free speech. Ive always had a lot on my mind and I easily  drain out those thoughts when im able to jot it out. When caught in emotional moments whether good or bad at that moment words fail me until im able to get home sort my thoughts out and bam- im free of all the screaming in my mind. Its just who I am, this is my therapy.

Sometimes you just suck.

I try my best sometimes, and with little success I’m still thrilled. Sometimes I get these urges where I care so much I want to plan accordingly, I’ll save the details for last- but I like to prepare. I get myself a little worked up sometimes, and my feelings get hurt when it’s not the best idea, but even more so I almost feel heart broken when it’s ALWAYS the terrible idea. I suck at talking about what hurts my feelings, all I know is every now and then optimism goes a long way. And I suppose my favorite kind of people to share ideas are the optimistic kind of people because those people motivate me.

And you know what,

People motivate me, I’m not ashamed to admit that. Individuals inspire me, their personalities, the way they dress, how they speak. What people can do with their words, it’s so powerful and yet we rarely take caution. We don’t stop ourselves and remember that a conversation starts with positive energy, the will of wanting to speak to another person- that’s great energy. I just can’t stand when someone spits in my tea before I get to enjoy it.

Maybe I’m just hormonal, maybe I just have terrible ideas, maybe I just suck sometimes.