Archive for December, 2011

miss em

I know you’ve moved away, and enhanced the dynamics of your life- I know you’re busy these days, and we keep making plans to reunite, but something always comes up. I want you to know that although we are miles apart, although I am still here, and you’ve been everywhere you’re in my thoughts daily, ours days under the sun, and night life memories still feel like just yesterday. No matter where you are, no matter how far, we’re still close at heart, and forever will be. Miss my best friends.

stimulate my senses

Tonight I have departed yet from another part of my soul. My art, I love the happiness it (sometimes) shares, but parting from it is such sweet sorrow.

Excuse me for being a bit dramatic, but I paint with thrilling excitement, and joy. I am in the most content state of mind when I am in my zone.

Some paintings I put my whole soul into, and cannot let go, funny most of which were sexually stimulated, not to say I paint glorious paintings immediately after being intimate, but sexually in general. I suppose it goes to show you that the joy, thrill, and excitement between two individuals is poetic justice for my work. My creativity is stimulated by sex, romance, and love. Its gotta beat, my hearts gotta throb in order to breathe life into a canvas.

When you’re confidence is at its best your work transpires time, contentment, patience, and loving care. All energies compell the inhabitor of the piece to connect. And when the connection is made- Ah, satisfaction.

Thanks for stopping by.
❤ rae'd

raeraes

oh silly me.

All I want is his affection, its like a drug. And when he takes a little bit of it away from me, I am upset, and I become angry with him. I punish him! I am cold, and a sweet debacle waiting to explode, itching for a fight.. It’s just like never getting affection and then getting it and its just amazing, -so he raised the bar and its all I want! How dare he.

Sometimes that’s all I want. I like it that much.

oh silly me.

All I want is his affection, its like a drug. And when he takes a little bit of it away from me, I am upset, and I become angry with him. I punish him! I am cold, and a sweet debacle waiting to explode, itching for a fight.. It’s just like never getting affection and then getting it and its just amazing, -so he raised the bar and its all I want! How dare he.

Sometimes that’s all I want. I like it that much.

cold and ashamed

Conversation has run dry- that’s what’s going on. Sometimes some things we feel are one sided for a reason, and when you’re reminded that you’re tripping over nothing, remember the key words, “tripping”, “nothing”. Moving right along, I am an adult and should not waiver on the brink of emotional let downs. I am old enough to know exactly what I want and where to find it. Nothing should stand in my way or make me feel insufficient. I am young, warm hearted, loving, and affectionate. I should have no reason to feel lonely, neglected or insufficient. And like all aloof and detach aquarius, if I do not find it in one place I will find it in another. It is what it is. ❤ xoxo

let it burn.

There’s a list i keep that contains all the things i need to be happy. This list may exist only in my mind, but i take it very seriously. Some would say I am rather rigid about my requirements. I can’t understand why i can’t cover each and every desire that exists on that list, and without being able to do so, i fear i will never be completely content – something will always be missing. But the real problem is the list itself. By specifically defining what i need, I am not allowing a higher power to fulfill me – and there are certain blessings that i haven’t even imagined that would really bring me joy. Time to burn the list.

(I’m listening universe- I hear you, loud and clear)

Oh my oh my

Half a pill to make the bad thoughts go away, the other half is for when they return with a vengeance, when I run out, god help us all. And that’s all I have to say about that.