Archive for February, 2012

NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO

We all lose touch of who we are every now and then. I am currently faced with a lot of negative feelings I’ve harbored over the past months. Lately, I have to admit a lot of negativity and judgement has easily passed through me, so much more often that the energy has seemingly pushed those once dear too me away. In order to receive positive love you must be the first to plant the energy in order for it to blossom.

I’ve spent the afternoon multi tasking work with research on prayers and ways to let go of negative energy. This is how vital my faith has become to my well-being. I have simply become bitter and selfish over an event that impacted my life significantly last year. This event, has encouraged bitter feelings, and placed a negative void in my dealings with others.

The only real way of letting go is admitting the ugly and the futile that has weighed down my soul and true being.

I have a lot of love to share with the world, pockets full of good intentions but this past year I’ve made no efforts in sharing that love, and my intentions have been focus on my own happiness; this is not how I want to live my life. So I’m coming out of the dark, and I’m going to shed some light. The next time I look in the mirror I will forgive myself for being the source of negativity and selfishness.  I will forgive myself for torturing my soul with lies, and most importantly the souls of those around me.

I will go to temple, I will pray, and I will be mindful again of those around me. I will bring happiness back into my world. It’s my story, and I’m going to write it.

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And soo I thought..

I wonder what it would be like if for one month I went to every single event I am invited too. I know I’m friends with some people from Elementary School, and Junior High School, on FB that I haven’t seen in YEARS, or hardly ever at all. One month, I’ll go to every event.. But not this year, next year. I need to figure out what month. “You gotta be smart- think ahead, think of the scenarios” – Josh McDaniel.

You feed the beast I have within me.

So cut it the fuck out, and I’ll play nice.